What a Week!

For starters...how my week began last week...Kenyan 'compliment'--"Miss Stamp, how would you feel if I told you you were gaining weight?"...me, "not good, please do not go on with whatever you are about to say"...worker, "no, I could tell from behind your pants are tighter, do you want to work on it?"...me, 'walking away with tears in my eyes and a stunned look on my face...'...Two days later..."Miss Stamp, you look nice today...what did you do different with your face?"...Same day, was diagnosed with chicken pox. Wow, needless to say, this last week was an extremely humbling week.

To explain the first two comments, apparently, compliments in Kenya are when you are told you are gaining weight, even if you haven't, that's what they like to say to tell you you look well and taken care of. My Americanized self did not see it that way and started off my week shaking up my self-confidence and questioning the fries that have become one of the regular parts of my diet since I moved here. However, I just realized through those comments, Satan knew exactly what to do to kick me down and make me less effective BEFORE I was literally knocked down with the disease that was about to come my way. Let's just say some prayer and needed reassurance of who I am in Christ was focused on for the next couple days as I tried to pick up my pride from the ground where it had been knocked.

To further explain the later part of the week, two of my students came to class with the chicken pox (discovered after the fact), where, because I had dodged it as a child, then took over my body. All that to say, not the best week since I have been here. I am already in the middle of transition here, feeling a bit low, missing family with the holidays just days away, and here I come down with one of the most painful and miserable diseases I have ever had. Why Lord? Well, now that I'm through the worst of it, I know why...to make me slow down!!! I haven't had a day...just one day to myself since I got here four months ago, to slow down and just be. The more rundown I am, the less effective I am to those around me. Now, I can say, I am thankful for the chance to have been at home and have time to bake and relax and do a few things that help rejuvinate me and keep me going.

I have to say, normally, if I were hit with this much discouragement in one week, I would have let it knock me down for quite some time. Satan has always gotten a hold of me easily through depression and self-loathing. Excitingly enough, for myself anyway, is to know that the longer I am here and dependent on Christ for EVERYTHING, the closer I am getting to him and the less of a stronghold Satan is having on me; a lifelong struggle and he is FINALLY losing strength in this battle. God has given me optimism and strength in a time that should be keeping me down.

For those who don't necessarily follow Christ and think they can do life on their own...I am so saddened. I'm not saying I don't try and do it myself either or think I've got a hold on things...but really, letting go and truly trusting God has a better plan for you, is such a blessing. I don't know exactly how to go on without sounding too preachy, but I just wanted to share, that I am a very stubborn and controlling person. But so many things are out of my control here, no matter what I seem to try to do to make it go my way, ABSOLUTELY nothing does...so I've finally, after 4 months thrown my arms in the air. I surrender, I can't do it..and my way stinks anyway. Those reading this who need encouragement; He really IS in control, realize it, believe it, trust in it, and go with it...I promise no matter how hard things get, it really is for a greater purpose.

Wait, the holidays are here?!

First off, apologies for the very long hiatus I have taken from updating this thing. So much has happened since my last post so I am going to try and condense the information as much as possible without leaving anything exciting out!

Since my last post, I had the opportunity to fly down to South Africa for the Rezolution conference 2010 with John Piper as the keynote speaker. A last minute opportunity arose to go, and considering Piper is one of my absolute favorite authors, I could hardly turn down the chance to hear him speak in person. What an awesome time of worship and teaching I got to benefit from. Here in Kenya, the churches and teachings are not quite what I am used to in the states. Sermons are not very deep and I struggle to get filled in that way. This weekend was like a long cool drink of water and I couldn't get enough! Piper spoke on what his biggest statement is in all his books; that God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him! I was reminded that when I am fully joyful in all I do and in my relationship with Him, others see that and it ultimately glorifies Him.

In the midst of living here and struggling with daily cultural issues and longings to be back with family and friends, remembering to be joyful isn't always easy. There are relationships that need constant working on, patience, and grace. My students have so many needs that it is overwhelming at times to think I cannot meet them all. And then, of course, as the holidays approach, realizing truly how far I am from all my loved ones and accepting that for the first time in 28 years, I will not get to enjoy the holiday season with them, is not easy. However, having this reminder to be joyful in all I'm doing is something I needed to hear and to keep hearing. Being joyful and content in Christ and all he has done for me is a daily choice. And it is huge here. There is so much corruption under all the beauty that surrounds me, and yet people here are joyful. What a challenge for me, in the midst of what I find 'hard' and realizing that as long as I am satisfied in Christ, nothing else CAN fail me. If I am not joyful in what I am doing, then how is God being glorified or recognized in it all; and ultimately, what then am I doing here? All that to say, the conference was amazing and I did not take for granted the true blessing that it was.

Moving on, the longer I am at my school and with my class, the more I am getting to know them and their needs. What a precious group of children I have and am so grateful for them. However, as I get to know them more, I am starting to see more of their needs and wow, there are so many. Most of my Kenyan children have divorced parents or are watching their parents split up. My missionary children seem to be struggling with their transitions and acting out in ways unexplained. All that to say, the longer I am here, the more I am seeing my purpose in being here. These kids know Jesus...what they don't know is what unconditional love is and that even though they are left alone most of the time, they have a Heavenly Father who cares deeply for them. Not the easiest concept to get across to eight year olds, but I count it a privilege that I get to try everyday in class to engrain that into their little brains.

Apart from school, I had an opportunity to run in Nairobi's Half Marathon a couple of weeks ago. Wow! What a cool experience. I ran, or should I say, got passed by world class athletes and olympians. These guys were unbelievable and I couldn't believe that for 1,000 shillings (or about 12 dollars) I got to be apart of this event. I am loving getting integrated into life here and making it more of my home each day. The next run will be in Nairobi's game park with all the animals, and I can't wait for that one!

Well, I suppose this is not condensed very much, but like I said, lots has happened and God continues to teach me lessons each day I am here in huge ways. Continued prayers are coveted and I will be posting again soon!

Food for Thought

A few things came up this week that made me stop and think, really think about life here and how truly different it is. I felt, without going into too much detail, it was important to share in order to give a better picture of the culture here as my eyes are being opened to new things each and every day.

* Last Saturday, as I got up early to go for a morning run, I passed by dozens of people hovering outside a construction gate hoping for a days work--made me think twice about complaining about my rough work days.

* Again, when running (it's my sanity activity here) I felt completely foolish passing three thin women carrying massive loads of wood on their back up hill--I must look ridiculous and am continually amazed by the women here

*On the same run, I passed by a man who had been hit by I'm assuming a car and was, from what I could see without looking too closely, dead. His belongings were scattered everywhere and people were just standing around him staring at him...not helping...staring. It is part of the culture here to not touch someone who is dead unless you are family, so he will remain there for longer than I want to think about...made me ill

*During Prayer Request and Praise time after chapel this morning, one of my little girls' praises was that she didn't fall off her bike when her guard was teaching her how to ride her bike. (We have guards here at every compound, apartment, house, that watch over the area and let you in and out during the day). I had to stop and ask her if her parents helped her at all...she said no. The guard of her gate taught her how to ride a bike...wow...I didn't realize how lucky I was to have my brother and family members help me with something so little but so big in my childhood.

So many things I have taken for granted all my life. The biggest kicker here...is that most everyone here is joyful, content, and fine with the way things are. I know it's all they maybe know...but still...I have been and continue to be one blessed individual. I only hope my eyes will continue to be opened and my heart softened to the culture as I get integrated here and realize more and more where the needs are. I also hope to learn from them instead of feeling like I need to teach them so much...phew...what a week...just food for though...

Life is a Highway...and an especially bumpy one here

Wow...what a crazy couple of weeks it has been! Since the staff retreat, it seems it took two weeks to catch up from being gone for two days. After two months of being here, and I don't know if I've said this before, but being a missionary is getting harder by the day and not easier. My love and distaste for this place is all in the same most days. Pressures are starting to set in as I get settled and feel I want to do more than just teach while I am here. There are needs everywhere it seems and not enough time or energy to reach them all. By needs, I am not just meaning the Kenyans, but fellow missionaries. It seems everyone is dealing with culture stresses in different ways and I am learning more and more each day that I cannot do this on my own strength, but with God's. It's hard to even describe the daily battles one faces here. In fact, last weekend, as my whole family flew to Florida for my nephews five year old birthday, and I was so far away, I was asking God why?! Why did he lay this burden on my heart to be here? Why does he want to use me here and not someone else more qualified? Surely there's someone better equipped to take my position, to be a better teacher, a better friend, a better family member. I love my friends and family so much...why was I called so far away from them? If you have never felt a calling before or a burden on your heart strongly for something, you don't realize that you can't ignore it. This plan for me to be here has been in the works for 8 years...or maybe more, but 8 that I am aware of. I tried to do my own thing and live life my own way, but the desire didn't go away, nor the burden. Best thing to do in those situations...give in...don't fight it. So I finally did, and now, away from everyone near and dear to me. Anyway, God has been working on me with that one, and showing me that He will get me through this and that I'm not alone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not miserable or anything. I've been provided with great friends here, mentor's, and an incredible opportunity to see a part of the world I never thought I'd get to experience. But it isn't easy, not for one second. During staff devotions one morning, a statement was read to us..."some days being a missionary is adventurous, but most days, it's just working." It's so true! So I am going to get off my pitty party and let you know that struggles aside...work has been going well. I got to take my kids to the Animal Orphanage in Kenya where they got to see cheetah's, monkeys, lions, lion cubs, and all sorts of neat animals. Now that is when I think being here is pretty awesome. I love that my kids get to experience this as well as myself. I hope as the honeymoon wears off more and more, that I will still be able to see and realize the purpose of what God has me here for...and that I won't forget...above all, it's to serve Him and further his kingdom. It is worth it.

This might be a long one...

Well, this weekend was our staff retreat. We got to take a day off of school and head out of the city about 30 minutes to a beautiful place called Brakenhurst. It is surrounded with tea fields and open country. Any chance we get to leave the smoggy city and head out into the beautiful land of Kenya I feel refreshed. I have to admit though, I was not wanting to go on this retreat at all. I find though, usually when I adamantly don't want to do something, it is usually because I am going to learn something and be stretched in a way I don't want to. Needless to say, that is exactly what happened.

Before going on any further, I need to reemphasize, if I haven't in previous posts, that my community is extremely small right now. I live with the people I socialize with and work with. I have zero independence, no way or no where to go to be alone. So part of why I didn't want to go this weekend is because as much as I love these people, I just wanted to be alone. But...I'm not here for me. God has a work to do in me and through me and in order to do that, I have to do stuff I don't want to do. And ask our chaplain or anyone who was around me the week before we left, I made it known I was not happy about going (pouting I think it's called). However, as soon as we reached our location, I was thrilled to be there. This place was beautiful and peaceful. I had a chance to slow down and spend time with people I needed to spend time with. I had time to sit and be convicted and listen to what the Holy Spirit wanted to teach me....and it's a lot.

Our whole theme for the weekend was dealing with conflict and examining ourselves in our actions, thoughts, and words towards others. The thing that stuck out to me the most was when our chaplain, Mike Bussell, said that we are here to do God's work. No matter what, God's plan is going to prevail. We can either be a part of that plan and enjoy the blessing of being a part of it, or we can tear each other down and miss out on the awesome experience of seeing God's plan work out. I definitely want to be a part of the blessing and experience the joy that comes from that. And what a life lesson to learn not only for here, but in general. I wish everyone could understand the incredible gift of following God's plan and allowing him to love and reward you. I'm not saying I always die to my own desires and follow his plan perfectly by any means, but when I do seek and follow him wholeheartedly, it is so so sweet. I only hope I can grow in such a way here that I follow him a little bit more easily each day. Anyway, I think I'm on a soap box so I'll get off now. It was just such a refreshing and great weekend I had to share.

Huge revival is happening at our school. Kids are coming to Christ, kids are seeking discipleship and spiritual growth. Things are happening that have never happened before. Sooo....Satan does not want that to happen and will seek to steal, kill, and destroy. Best way to do that is to break a staff apart. However, I do feel, this weekend was a huge blow to what Satan is trying to do, because God has big plans for this school and the children that attend. I am excited to be a part of such a revival and look forward to seeing how God is going to use this weekend to grow us stronger as a staff, in turn helping our school grow stronger. Expect huge things, it's going to be exciting!

Time for Top Tid Bits #3-Still getting Surprised

So I am going on to week 6 here, which seems crazy to me! Each day seems like a victory, so even though my parents say time is flying in the states, it is dragging here. Dragging seems like a negative word, so I should clarify, it is not meant to be negative, but truly, time does not fly here. Days are not filled with busyness, but move with a slowness I have never known. So this, along a few other things are still surprising me here. It seems the best way to sum them up is through my list of tid bits...so here goes:

1.) Even though I may decide to splurge on a 7 dollar box of Ritz, it does not mean the crackers will taste fresh or even like Ritz

2.) Zebras, donkeys, and baboons adorn the highways here which still blows me away considering I'm used to seeing dirt and buildings along most drives between Bakersfield and northern and southern CA

3.) Internet and electricity is continuing to go in and out at the most inconvenient times which continues to frustrate me to no end

4.) Random Kenyan holidays are called quite a bit which allows for random days off...sounds fun...and it is...but makes lesson planning interesting

5.) Medical care here is atrocious! I saw a girl's leg get broken right in front of me at a soccer game and no one knew what to do. People just stared at her writhing in pain and proceeded to try and take care of her in the weirdest way (one of which was to lift the broken leg high in the air...ouch!). I'm thankful I come from a more compassionate and caring culture after witnessing that scene.

6.) I am buying things here I never ever bought at home...but if it's American and cheap, it ends up in my shopping cart (i.e...mac and cheese!)

7.) When I open up a drawer and lots of little bugs crawl out from it...I am reminded I'm in Africa...gross...wondering if I'll ever get used to that

8.) Blatantly got stared at at the soccer game I went to...I know it's because I am white...but still makes me very uncomfortable...they literally point and stare and sometimes laugh

9.) My friend Bekah's little girl about the age of 2 got picked up by a random Kenyan teenage girl and she started walking away with Kate (the 2 year old). Bekah said that's what they did here...what?!...ok...(she didn't let the girl walk away with her, but still)

10.) Last but not least...God is good...over and over again...yes, I am embarrassingly but still surprised by this and am reminded not to take it for granted each day!

The highs are HIGH and the lows are LOW...

Everyone says emotions are pretty crazy here, but I am almost certain I have become bi-polar within the last month. Now before I scare people, I am semi joking, but really, I have never experienced such heightened emotion. I completed my second week of school and it was even better than the first. However, my good days were just awesome, and my difficult days made me want to give up. I have never experienced living life as difficult as in Kenya. So teaching all day and then coming home to a house that has no electricity, or wanting to make dinner, but not having the energy to spend 2 hours in the kitchen and surrendering to a bowl of cereal is hard! I don't know how else to say it without sounding like I'm whining, but I literally feel the only things I can rely on right now are breathing in and out and walking (sounds dramatic, but it's true). I was blessed with the chance to have coffee and spend some time with a dear friend of mine who is serving here with her family a few hours away, and she reminded me to make a 'joy list' each day to help through the rough times. I told her all I would have on it for a while might be hot running water, electricity, and internet. Then I lost all three today before church and it lasted all day.....see...I'm telling you....frustrating! However, NEVER in my life have I had an opportunity to truly appreciate the little things. Those little things are big things here and so every day I wake up breathing, walking, get a nice hot shower, and get through an email without the power going out, I thank Jesus. I am learning the basics are all you need here, because the basics in Kenya are luxuries. I am learning patience and grace and how to let things go when they don't go my way (because they never do here). And as strange as it sounds, I love it all. I know the only reason I love this madness is because of the work God is doing in my heart and because of all of the prayers people are sending my way. I have never felt them so strongly before so thank you! After two weeks of school and a month of living here already, I continue to be excited for what's next!

First week done!

This week, I finished my first week at West Nairobi. I have to say, things are done quite differently here. I thought my culture shock would be free from school grounds, but that is not the case. Now mind you, I expected to see a diversity of very well-behaved students. What has been the shock has been the way things are run at school. Basics like paper, pencil sharpeners, a file cabinet!, are absent from my life currently. I thought schools were pretty universal in having those things on hand...but no. Like everything else here, the things I expect to be basic or normal are just not so in Kenya. I am constantly having to remind myself to stop saying..."but in the states, things are done this way!" Besides those minor frustrations though, my sweet class of 'mostly' well behaved children was very fun. I have students from all over the world, which makes them asking to use the restroom in several different ways quite humorous. Did you know 'lou' is a word for restroom? I sure didn't..that poor child had to repeat himself several times before I got it. They are all, however, eager and willing to learn, which is SUCH a fun change from the majority of students I have dealt with in the states. I got to pray with them each morning for our day which was such a blessing. We had chapel Friday morning, and will continue to have it on Friday mornings, which personally, is my favorite part of the week. These children come from all different cultures and backgrounds, and so we are all teaching each other something new everyday. Plus, I am in awe not only of their academic ability, but their soccer skills are phenomenal...I mean...wow! So that was my first week. I am still adjusting to the culture each day. Some days I love it and some days I hate it. But despite my feelings, I continue to be reassured this is where I am supposed to be and I look forward to finding out each day what I am going to learn and how God is going to use me in different ways.

More Tid Bits...

So much has happened and is going on, I think the best way to sum up since my last post without writing a thesis, is through more 'short' tid bits....so...since my run in with little critters in Kenya...

1.) I have run into more critters! We have a mouse living in our house. I have been the lucky one to be greeted by the little rodent TWICE whence I screamed so loud I may have scared the mouse away permanently without needing to use a mouse trap...still...gross!

2.) I have never been more thankful for technology and internet! Skype is my new best friend...

3.) Politics in Kenya are quite a bit more intense than in the states which was scary, but also cool to see prayers answered and peace prevail throughout Kenya as the new constitution was voted for (quite historical here).

4.) Patience will probably be my biggest lesson learned here in that it takes FOREVER to get anything done here and tea time complicates things more than I can voice...ughhhh...finish what you're doing first, THEN drink your tea! I'm just sayin'....logical thinking...not present here

5.) Bartering for cool African items (i.e, jewelry, frames, purses) is soooo much fun and my new favorite hobby here! It brings getting a deal to a whole new level!

6.) Driving is getting less scarier each day...I now know how to get to ONE whole place all by myself...very monumental for me!

7.) If I thought I lived at school before, I was mistaken...NOW I live and breath school....and I'm still not ready for the first day (please pray for wisdom on knowing what and how to do things here...it's just so different than what I am used to).

8.) I met one potential parent of a child in my class who did not want to know what his child would be teaching, but was more interested in the wooden ceilings in my room and the 'positive' energy that the environment exuded....give me a flipping break! Can't wait to teach that child about Jesus!

9.) I am loving it here and scared to death at the same time as I realize each day that I live here...really missing family and friends already...sometimes doing what you feel the Lord calling you to do is just not easy....or fun all the time....how come I forgot that?

10.) I am realizing the more people I meet and the more I learn about Kenya, that NOBODY needs me here...and what I mean by that, is I am humbled to realize that God is so much bigger than I give him credit for...Kenyans are taking care of Kenyans, and I am the privileged one to be here and am excited to see what exactly God brought me here for...cuz like I said, he doesn't need me....but I definitely need Him...

Spiders and Mice and Slugs OH My!!!

As you can tell from my title, I'm getting used to the fun little critters that live inside and out here in Nairobi. So far, I had to kill a huge spider dangling from the ceiling of the van we were riding in, threw a slug back out into the yard today who liked to show up on our toilet each morning, and have yet to trap our little mouse (in the house) friend. I walk around on high alert always wondering what creature will show up to surprise me every day. Other than those surprises, I have been enjoying my time here in Kenya very much! Things were quite busy upon arrival last week. We had to learn how to grocery shop (an art here), look for cars to purchase (I will be waiting a while on that one!), and shopping for other things like hangers and organizational stuff. Normally, I would see those items at Target and grab and go...not here! No, those little luxuries are too expensive, so we write a list of what we want and then head over to Toi Market (Toi means overstock) to barter for these silly items. It's quite exhausting! But it's all part of living here i suppose. I would say that is what is the hardest thing for me right now is learning that everything takes twice as long here. If a driver says he will pick you up at 9, he really means, he will pick you up whenever he feels like it which could be anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour late...soooooooo frustrating! BUT...I'm learning patience here like I never have before. Something fun I have enjoyed was visiting the giraffe center and elephant orphanage which is only about 25 minutes from where I live. The giraffe's are just such majestic creatures and the elephants were precious. It's nice to see the animals taken care of here because animals are not valued at all in this culture. Otherwise, I am now spending lots of time in my classroom made of cement and figuring out the art of decorating with walls that don't like tape very much. Please be praying for continued patience as I adjust to living here. More fun stories to come!

Top 10 Tidbits from my 4 days in Kenya...so far...

1.) Hair dryers cannot handle the voltage here and will catch on fire sending sparks out into the room and leaving the area smelling like fire for hours here...oops

2.) Coffee mate is a luxury...which equals expensive...which means, if you don't know that, you will spend 20 dollars on 1 1/2 bottles of it...oops...again

3.) Machetes are sold in the gardening section of the Nakumatt (Wal Mart)...like it's no big deal!

4.) Police officers walk around with HUGE machine guns in the malls...and it is NOT comforting

5.) Everything is made of cement

6.) My favorite food...chicken....is also a luxury...which means I can't afford it on a regular basis...which means I might have to be introducing beef into my diet again...sad day...on the flip side...my other favorite food...french fries...are a staple here and are served at every meal...YES!!!

7.) In order to support the economy...I will be forced to get house help to cook and clean, get pedicures and massages to help people live (you don't even want to know how cheap all that is or you will be very jealous)...just doing my civic duty!

8.) People stare at Wazunga's (white people) like we are famous or something...I don't like it

9.) Being on any sort of time schedule is out the door...nobody is going anywhere fast...

10.) Don't even get me started on driving and pot holes....

That's it for now....lots more to come!

And it's go time!

Well, after months of anticipation, training, and weeks of goodbye's (not fun), my 6 bags and I are headed to Kenya. This whole process has been so surreal, I can hardly believe the day is here. As I flew off to London for my first leg of the flight I was feeling really good. I stood in line at Starbuck's with my absolute favorite choreographers from So You Think You Can Dance (Tabitha and Napoleon) and am still kicking myself for not snagging a picture with them...oh well. I got comfortable in my seat, that had an empty seat next to it, kicked my shoes off, and began to enjoy the very nice selection of movies and music. Pretty soon, a nice dinner was served with some red wine...again...feeling good. Then, I landed in London. Now, it's slowly hitting me that things are slowly getting different. I follow the signs and end up standing in line to go through customs to enter the UK (by accident), realizing that I don't have enough time to head into London and have to turn back around and try and follow the nice signs in English correctly this time to make it to my terminal. Then I get to where I need to be, finally, and my card is declined at Starbuck's. I still don't know what's going on with that, but I have to use cash to get my coffee...only to receive pounds back that I have no clue how to use....so I buy a breakfast sandwich I think I can afford with money I don't know how to use. Finally, with no gate to sit at because it's too early for my flight to have an assigned gate, I'm wandering around with my 2 very large carry ons, trying to pass the time. Hence, a nice long blog post, with far more information then most will probably care to read, but alas, this being part of my entertainment for now as I pass the 8 hour layover I have, here it is. Counting the hours til' my final leg to Nairobi...hope I can follow the signs in THAT airport...

For my last post from PFO, thought I'd just show you a few pics from this week! I got to enjoy some memphis BBQ (twice!), once with the Kenya group, and then again at a banquet thrown for us by the amazing organization I am now a part of, NICS. As exhausting as these past two weeks were, they were just as equally wonderful. I have made friendships with girls that will be my new family for some time to come. I have learned tons and tons of new info and now feel quite prepared to go out into the mission field. I am so excited!!!! 20 days and counting til' take off to Kenya. I will try and stay updated on all the amazing things I know God is going to do in the days to come and will continue with the fun posts from Kenya. Thanks to all who are praying. They are being felt and are being answered!

Day # ?...I've really lost track. All I know is, PFO is almost over. Today was a really nice day. We had seminars in the morning; one in particular on how to protect the kids we will be teaching emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Most of this I have learned in my education classes, but is still always sad to hear the statistics of children that are abused. I naively thought that might be absent on the mission field...yet again, reminded how 'in the box' I think. This particular topic is hard to talk about and listen to, but always a good reminder of how to be aware and sensitive with the range of children that will be in my class. Afterwards, we got the afternoon off, and got to enjoy a talent show put on by participants of PFO. The Kenya Clan decided to participate by being really good audience members and enjoy the talents of others...and personally, I think we did a great job with that! Now we have set up the projector in our classroom, and are going to unwind from the day with a movie. Still loving these girls and will be missing them lots when I go. One and a half more days and it's back to Cali!

What day is it??? I know I'm almost to the end, and boy am I ready. It's funny, today they told us when we get to our destinations, we will go through a honeymoon stage, a flight stage, fight stage, and acceptance stage (stuff we have been learning over and over again). However, what I noticed during that talk was that the stages I will be going through in Kenya have been the exact stages I've gone through here at PFO. The first couple of days were so fun and I just loved all the newness (honeymoon). Then, flight (wanting to get right back home to a real shower), and now I am in the fight stage (not quite here long enough to make it to the acceptance phase), and I am getting a bit frustrated with all the seminars, meetings, and uncomfortable surroundings. I am also realizing more and more each day what exactly is about to take place here in a few short weeks...I'm moving to Kenya!!! wait...what?...I'm moving to Kenya?!?! ...when did that happen? It's all quite emotional and digesting it each day is getting a little bit more difficult with each new seminar. Don't get me wrong...I'm excited...but wow...I"m moving to Kenya... As crazy as things are going to be when I get home, I am very ready to sleep in a real bed and take a shower in a shower I don't have to coordinate with 50 other girls (yes, there are four I believe for all of us...good times). Please pray for strength and perseverance as I finish up the last couple of days here.

T-Minus 3 1/2 days and counting: Today was better than I expected. Our morning was full, but we got a nice break in the afternoon where I got to go for a nice run and swim which was much needed....especially after this morning's topic...being single on the mission field...my favorite topic (NOT). I found myself wanting to bolt from the pew I was sitting in and go for a run right there...to somewhere very far away. I feel a little strange putting this out in cyberspace for anyone to read, but it is an issue I deal with continually and feel it is important to be real in order for those of you who are praying for me, to add this topic to your list. The speaker talked about how being single allows for an opportunity to reach sometimes more people single than when we go over with a spouse. That is all well and good, but going to this new country 'alone' so to speak is something that really weighs on my mind. This whole thing is scary, and going by myself is even scarier. I am continually reminded God is with me, BUT, nevertheless, it is still scary! Anyway, some good points were made, and let's just say I am glad this particular lecture is done and over with. We then got a little bit into the philosophy of Christian education, which was quite interesting! After lunch, we met with our small group advisors to go over some personality tests we had taken before PFO...haha...very interesting stuff...I would reveal what they said, but then I'd have to...well, you know how it ends...j/k. Oh, I almost forgot, we got to meet our school director today and his wife and they are awesome people. I am excited to get to work with them...so different than what I've been dealing with at PBVUSD these last few years; a breath of fresh air. Now i get to gear up for my 2 page paper I am to write about all I've been learning...I am beginning to think school NEVER ends :/

Day #7: And on the seventh day...God rested...Amen! Today was a great day of rest! Last night, I got to eat an Amanda Meneses original delicious dinner, do some laundry, and sleep in a real bed. Oh what a treat!...not to mention the company. We slept in today, went to Amanda and Mundo's church, and experienced an awesome church service. We listened to Pastor Bryan Houston from Hillsong church of Australia and he spoke on something that is very tender in my heart right now; not living in the past, but believing in a positive future...wow! As I move forward into this great adventure of life, I realized there were things of the past that I needed to surrender to God in order to allow Him fully into my heart again, ultimately allowing me to serve him in the fullest in the upcoming months. It was a very powerful message to say the least. I then enjoyed a relaxing day filled with 2 Starbuck's trips...yes 2!! Now, after a nice day of rest, it is back to some long days. We are all feeling a little resistant as we enter the final 4 1/2 days of PFO wondering how much more information we can take. I know it is going to be good, but need continual prayer as I have said before, there are some long days ahead! Here we go!

Day #6- Today was quite interesting. We had safety training for in case of terrorist attacks, threats, or just basic common sense training when in an unfamiliar environment. It was kind of scary to think about the possibilities of danger, but I'd rather be a little scared than walk into this new culture completely naive. Luckily, East Africa is typically known more for muggings (if anything) than for murder...and yes, I say luckily, because money almost always takes care of those situations (so I've been told). I'm not worried though. I know, as cheesy as this may sound, that with God on my side, I will be fine, and I can honestly say that if anything were to happen, at least I will be serving Him in the process. May sound bizarre to some, but I have a true peace about walking into my upcoming situation. Anyway, on a lighter note, I am really starting to see how God is so detail oriented and I am so grateful. The group I am going over with are just so great and I can't say enough, how grateful I am for that. We all get along so well and I feel like I am already going over with a group of friends. Remember, I have only known them for 6 days...I don't know about you, but for me, this is amazing. God knew who I would do well with and he has blessed me so much with placing me with a group he knew I could thrive with. In addition to the details, God knew I would need a regular bed to sleep in, so I get to spend a night with Amanda and her family again which I am loving! Southaven is one of the most random places to have training, but I couldn't be more thankful to be close to one of my dearest friends and get a truly restful break from the long days at PFO. Lastly, favorite quote of the day "Americans have watches, but have no time. Africans have the time, but don't have watches." Love it and yay for a break!

Day #5...it's getting harder to look alive! Ok, so as much fun as I am having learning about everything...it's about time for a breather. These days are extremely long and I've just about reached my information absorption cap. With that said, I learned a lot today about changing my teaching methods to ensure a classroom where I am respected by my students and their parents. For example, in the US, it is seen as a positive thing to allow student discussion, or use strategies like think/pair/share. In many cultures, students will lose respect for you if you are not the only one talking the whole time. What?!?! I am all about getting out the info and then letting the kids do the rest. I am a big believer in the kids being the ones who learn from working hard; not me...if you are not a teacher, that might not make sense...but the saying goes, if you don't have a voice at the end of the day and you are exhausted, then you did all the work and the kids didn't do enough. Anyway, kind of eye opening for me that there are many things that will need tweaking. It's all part of the learning experience though, and I need to start realizing the way I am used to things being done is NOT going to be the same. I just need to keep repeating that over and over in my head. At the end of the day, I was able to fit in a nice run which helped relieve some of my tension and then the girls and I set up a movie on a projector in one of the classrooms we are sleeping in (aren't we crafty already??? :). It was a nice end to a long day. One more day, and then a break...very excited!

Day #4: Conferences today were focused on learning about the cross-cultural transition process starting now and continuing throughout the year. Apparently, I won't be adjusted to Kenyan culture until Christmas time or after...wow! That is a lot to digest; especially for someone like me who is a home body and is a big creature of habit. Time to step and think out side the box! The process goes as such: Involvement, leaving, transition, entering, and re-engagement. Right now I am involved in my own culture and what is happening to prepare to leave, when I leave I will be going through a grieving process on several levels, then I will transition into the culture, finally enter the culture, and eventually (after a full calendar year), re-engage in the culture and hopefully feel comfortable with everything. That is just a very short version of what I learned today; kind of dull, but helpful for me as I start experiencing feelings I have never had before that come with having to prepare to leave what I've always known and enter into the unknown. On a lighter note, we got to take a tour of the NICS building tonight and meet all the amazing people involved with this whole organization. I cannot say enough how impressed I am by these people. Please continue to pray though, as the information at PFO seems to be getting heavier to digest with each new day.

Day #3 (6/23/10): Spent the day learning about TCK's (third culture kids, or kids who have lived in another country other than their passport country) and how to create a classroom environment that allows us to relate to our kids and understand where some of them will be coming from. Good for me to know considering I will probably have third graders who have traveled more than I have! Lots and lots of good info! Also got to enjoy a run at the local gym with one of my soon to be colleagues, an evening church service where we got prayed over by a local baptist church, and then back to the gym for an evening swim. The days are packed here, but as you can tell, I still have time to fit in some fun activities as well as time to get to know the girls I'll be working with next year. I am continually amazed by what God is teaching me and how he is surrounding me with uplifting 'sisters' I already feel like I know. I can't express the joy I'm feeling and gratitude for how well everything is going! Bring on day 4!

Day #2 in Old Miss 6-22-10 (exactly one month until departure for Kenya)- long day of conferences about different personality traits; learned a lot about ourselves and our soon to be colleagues...interesting stuff! Also heard an interesting African tale about a monkey and a fish...bare with me.

"There once was a monkey who got stranded on an island that became flooded. The only dry spot on the island was on top of a tree. Soo...the monkey spent several days up on the tree until some dry land appeared. As the monkey waited, he saw a fish struggling on the dry land. In order to help the poor fish, the monkey reached down and practically risked his life to save the fish. He picked him up and placed him on top of the tree on a nice dry spot where the very excited fish who was flopping around could remain. Soon enough, the fish calmed down and looked so peaceful that the monkey decided to leave. The monkey walked away feeling so happy about saving the fish." Moral--An ignorant love can do great harm. An informed love can be a tremendous blessing.

I believe the point was to be informed about the students I will be teaching...otherwise, a right motive can do great harm if I don't understand the children I am loving and spending time with. Just a cool theme of the day I thought I'd share!

First day at PFO:

Prayers were answered-I am having an awesome time, learning lots of important info, and loving the girls I will be working with! Could not have been a better first day. Plus, Mandy got to come help me set up my lovely cot which made it even more special.

PFO-the beginning of the adventure

It is the day before PFO and I have been lucky enough to spend a few days with one of my oldest friends, Amanda, and her family before it all begins. I have enjoyed my stay and am anxiously and excitedly awaiting the first day of PFO. PFO stands for pre-field orientation, where I will spend about the next two weeks in I'm assuming some intensive training on what I will be doing for the next two years. The days all begin with bible study and are filled with fellowship and conferences full of information. I really do not know what to expect and so I will feel a lot more at ease after I arrive tomorrow and it all begins. Please pray for me as I begin this information filled two weeks!