Wow...what a crazy couple of weeks it has been! Since the staff retreat, it seems it took two weeks to catch up from being gone for two days. After two months of being here, and I don't know if I've said this before, but being a missionary is getting harder by the day and not easier. My love and distaste for this place is all in the same most days. Pressures are starting to set in as I get settled and feel I want to do more than just teach while I am here. There are needs everywhere it seems and not enough time or energy to reach them all. By needs, I am not just meaning the Kenyans, but fellow missionaries. It seems everyone is dealing with culture stresses in different ways and I am learning more and more each day that I cannot do this on my own strength, but with God's. It's hard to even describe the daily battles one faces here. In fact, last weekend, as my whole family flew to Florida for my nephews five year old birthday, and I was so far away, I was asking God why?! Why did he lay this burden on my heart to be here? Why does he want to use me here and not someone else more qualified? Surely there's someone better equipped to take my position, to be a better teacher, a better friend, a better family member. I love my friends and family so much...why was I called so far away from them? If you have never felt a calling before or a burden on your heart strongly for something, you don't realize that you can't ignore it. This plan for me to be here has been in the works for 8 years...or maybe more, but 8 that I am aware of. I tried to do my own thing and live life my own way, but the desire didn't go away, nor the burden. Best thing to do in those situations...give in...don't fight it. So I finally did, and now, away from everyone near and dear to me. Anyway, God has been working on me with that one, and showing me that He will get me through this and that I'm not alone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not miserable or anything. I've been provided with great friends here, mentor's, and an incredible opportunity to see a part of the world I never thought I'd get to experience. But it isn't easy, not for one second. During staff devotions one morning, a statement was read to us..."some days being a missionary is adventurous, but most days, it's just working." It's so true! So I am going to get off my pitty party and let you know that struggles aside...work has been going well. I got to take my kids to the Animal Orphanage in Kenya where they got to see cheetah's, monkeys, lions, lion cubs, and all sorts of neat animals. Now that is when I think being here is pretty awesome. I love that my kids get to experience this as well as myself. I hope as the honeymoon wears off more and more, that I will still be able to see and realize the purpose of what God has me here for...and that I won't forget...above all, it's to serve Him and further his kingdom. It is worth it.
No comments:
Post a Comment