What a Week!

For starters...how my week began last week...Kenyan 'compliment'--"Miss Stamp, how would you feel if I told you you were gaining weight?"...me, "not good, please do not go on with whatever you are about to say"...worker, "no, I could tell from behind your pants are tighter, do you want to work on it?"...me, 'walking away with tears in my eyes and a stunned look on my face...'...Two days later..."Miss Stamp, you look nice today...what did you do different with your face?"...Same day, was diagnosed with chicken pox. Wow, needless to say, this last week was an extremely humbling week.

To explain the first two comments, apparently, compliments in Kenya are when you are told you are gaining weight, even if you haven't, that's what they like to say to tell you you look well and taken care of. My Americanized self did not see it that way and started off my week shaking up my self-confidence and questioning the fries that have become one of the regular parts of my diet since I moved here. However, I just realized through those comments, Satan knew exactly what to do to kick me down and make me less effective BEFORE I was literally knocked down with the disease that was about to come my way. Let's just say some prayer and needed reassurance of who I am in Christ was focused on for the next couple days as I tried to pick up my pride from the ground where it had been knocked.

To further explain the later part of the week, two of my students came to class with the chicken pox (discovered after the fact), where, because I had dodged it as a child, then took over my body. All that to say, not the best week since I have been here. I am already in the middle of transition here, feeling a bit low, missing family with the holidays just days away, and here I come down with one of the most painful and miserable diseases I have ever had. Why Lord? Well, now that I'm through the worst of it, I know why...to make me slow down!!! I haven't had a day...just one day to myself since I got here four months ago, to slow down and just be. The more rundown I am, the less effective I am to those around me. Now, I can say, I am thankful for the chance to have been at home and have time to bake and relax and do a few things that help rejuvinate me and keep me going.

I have to say, normally, if I were hit with this much discouragement in one week, I would have let it knock me down for quite some time. Satan has always gotten a hold of me easily through depression and self-loathing. Excitingly enough, for myself anyway, is to know that the longer I am here and dependent on Christ for EVERYTHING, the closer I am getting to him and the less of a stronghold Satan is having on me; a lifelong struggle and he is FINALLY losing strength in this battle. God has given me optimism and strength in a time that should be keeping me down.

For those who don't necessarily follow Christ and think they can do life on their own...I am so saddened. I'm not saying I don't try and do it myself either or think I've got a hold on things...but really, letting go and truly trusting God has a better plan for you, is such a blessing. I don't know exactly how to go on without sounding too preachy, but I just wanted to share, that I am a very stubborn and controlling person. But so many things are out of my control here, no matter what I seem to try to do to make it go my way, ABSOLUTELY nothing does...so I've finally, after 4 months thrown my arms in the air. I surrender, I can't do it..and my way stinks anyway. Those reading this who need encouragement; He really IS in control, realize it, believe it, trust in it, and go with it...I promise no matter how hard things get, it really is for a greater purpose.