What a Week!

For starters...how my week began last week...Kenyan 'compliment'--"Miss Stamp, how would you feel if I told you you were gaining weight?"...me, "not good, please do not go on with whatever you are about to say"...worker, "no, I could tell from behind your pants are tighter, do you want to work on it?"...me, 'walking away with tears in my eyes and a stunned look on my face...'...Two days later..."Miss Stamp, you look nice today...what did you do different with your face?"...Same day, was diagnosed with chicken pox. Wow, needless to say, this last week was an extremely humbling week.

To explain the first two comments, apparently, compliments in Kenya are when you are told you are gaining weight, even if you haven't, that's what they like to say to tell you you look well and taken care of. My Americanized self did not see it that way and started off my week shaking up my self-confidence and questioning the fries that have become one of the regular parts of my diet since I moved here. However, I just realized through those comments, Satan knew exactly what to do to kick me down and make me less effective BEFORE I was literally knocked down with the disease that was about to come my way. Let's just say some prayer and needed reassurance of who I am in Christ was focused on for the next couple days as I tried to pick up my pride from the ground where it had been knocked.

To further explain the later part of the week, two of my students came to class with the chicken pox (discovered after the fact), where, because I had dodged it as a child, then took over my body. All that to say, not the best week since I have been here. I am already in the middle of transition here, feeling a bit low, missing family with the holidays just days away, and here I come down with one of the most painful and miserable diseases I have ever had. Why Lord? Well, now that I'm through the worst of it, I know why...to make me slow down!!! I haven't had a day...just one day to myself since I got here four months ago, to slow down and just be. The more rundown I am, the less effective I am to those around me. Now, I can say, I am thankful for the chance to have been at home and have time to bake and relax and do a few things that help rejuvinate me and keep me going.

I have to say, normally, if I were hit with this much discouragement in one week, I would have let it knock me down for quite some time. Satan has always gotten a hold of me easily through depression and self-loathing. Excitingly enough, for myself anyway, is to know that the longer I am here and dependent on Christ for EVERYTHING, the closer I am getting to him and the less of a stronghold Satan is having on me; a lifelong struggle and he is FINALLY losing strength in this battle. God has given me optimism and strength in a time that should be keeping me down.

For those who don't necessarily follow Christ and think they can do life on their own...I am so saddened. I'm not saying I don't try and do it myself either or think I've got a hold on things...but really, letting go and truly trusting God has a better plan for you, is such a blessing. I don't know exactly how to go on without sounding too preachy, but I just wanted to share, that I am a very stubborn and controlling person. But so many things are out of my control here, no matter what I seem to try to do to make it go my way, ABSOLUTELY nothing does...so I've finally, after 4 months thrown my arms in the air. I surrender, I can't do it..and my way stinks anyway. Those reading this who need encouragement; He really IS in control, realize it, believe it, trust in it, and go with it...I promise no matter how hard things get, it really is for a greater purpose.

Wait, the holidays are here?!

First off, apologies for the very long hiatus I have taken from updating this thing. So much has happened since my last post so I am going to try and condense the information as much as possible without leaving anything exciting out!

Since my last post, I had the opportunity to fly down to South Africa for the Rezolution conference 2010 with John Piper as the keynote speaker. A last minute opportunity arose to go, and considering Piper is one of my absolute favorite authors, I could hardly turn down the chance to hear him speak in person. What an awesome time of worship and teaching I got to benefit from. Here in Kenya, the churches and teachings are not quite what I am used to in the states. Sermons are not very deep and I struggle to get filled in that way. This weekend was like a long cool drink of water and I couldn't get enough! Piper spoke on what his biggest statement is in all his books; that God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him! I was reminded that when I am fully joyful in all I do and in my relationship with Him, others see that and it ultimately glorifies Him.

In the midst of living here and struggling with daily cultural issues and longings to be back with family and friends, remembering to be joyful isn't always easy. There are relationships that need constant working on, patience, and grace. My students have so many needs that it is overwhelming at times to think I cannot meet them all. And then, of course, as the holidays approach, realizing truly how far I am from all my loved ones and accepting that for the first time in 28 years, I will not get to enjoy the holiday season with them, is not easy. However, having this reminder to be joyful in all I'm doing is something I needed to hear and to keep hearing. Being joyful and content in Christ and all he has done for me is a daily choice. And it is huge here. There is so much corruption under all the beauty that surrounds me, and yet people here are joyful. What a challenge for me, in the midst of what I find 'hard' and realizing that as long as I am satisfied in Christ, nothing else CAN fail me. If I am not joyful in what I am doing, then how is God being glorified or recognized in it all; and ultimately, what then am I doing here? All that to say, the conference was amazing and I did not take for granted the true blessing that it was.

Moving on, the longer I am at my school and with my class, the more I am getting to know them and their needs. What a precious group of children I have and am so grateful for them. However, as I get to know them more, I am starting to see more of their needs and wow, there are so many. Most of my Kenyan children have divorced parents or are watching their parents split up. My missionary children seem to be struggling with their transitions and acting out in ways unexplained. All that to say, the longer I am here, the more I am seeing my purpose in being here. These kids know Jesus...what they don't know is what unconditional love is and that even though they are left alone most of the time, they have a Heavenly Father who cares deeply for them. Not the easiest concept to get across to eight year olds, but I count it a privilege that I get to try everyday in class to engrain that into their little brains.

Apart from school, I had an opportunity to run in Nairobi's Half Marathon a couple of weeks ago. Wow! What a cool experience. I ran, or should I say, got passed by world class athletes and olympians. These guys were unbelievable and I couldn't believe that for 1,000 shillings (or about 12 dollars) I got to be apart of this event. I am loving getting integrated into life here and making it more of my home each day. The next run will be in Nairobi's game park with all the animals, and I can't wait for that one!

Well, I suppose this is not condensed very much, but like I said, lots has happened and God continues to teach me lessons each day I am here in huge ways. Continued prayers are coveted and I will be posting again soon!