Year #2

It's hard to believe all that's happened since I came here one year ago! Last year was an absolute whirlwind between getting used to moving to a new place, new culture, new people, new grade level, AND, a new love. Now that that is past me, it's time to try out a new marriage in a new year...phew! Can you tell how crazy this has all been?

I can't say I am absolutely thrilled to be back. Maybe I shouldn't make that public knowledge, but I never have been that great at faking things. I soaked in every minute I got to spend with people this summer...went to Starbuck's AT LEAST once every day and enjoyed cereal and lunch meat like I'd never had it before. All that to say, Jonathan and I both know we have been brought back here for a purpose. We will for sure be here this year and give it our all. Come December, we will have to figure out if we want to stay longer, so I'm sure my blog posts until then will be interesting. Oh yeah! Jonathan and I...we finally are married! And I love that I get to figure all this out with another person. The wedding went well, the honeymoon ended up being in Italy for 7 days. We had an amazing time and still can't believe all that was seen and done this summer...including that trip! We are beyond blessed to have gotten to do all that we have. And like I said, we loved every minute of it and are loving every minute of being married. We are so lucky to have not had to go right back to work when we arrived in Nairobi. We have had two weeks to get our apartment settled (which let me tell you, needed that long).

When we arrived, we had no power (it had been disconnected even though we payed extra in advance), we had no fridge for food, no shower, and no washing machine...oh AND, our curtains got stolen from the store we took them at to get work done on them. Welcome back we thought! But since that first weekend, our curtains have been replaced, we have had power more often than not (praise the Lord), and all appliances have been installed. Now, it's time to teach!

Teacher orientation started two days ago, and we are hopeful with new administration, we will have a more positive year. I moved to Fifth grade and am very excited about that. Third grade was great, but I think I work better with the older ones. Jonathan has a lighter schedule this year and has lessened his extra-curriculars so that he will not be as worn out as last year (Senior advisor, Student Counsel facilitator, FCA facilitator, PTF treasurer, Girls and Middle school basketball coach....yep...exhausting just writing it all). And as grateful as I am to have such a willing and helpful husband, I will be happy to have him home more for our first year of marriage.

Anyway, that is about it for now. We are both praying for a better year and appreciate your prayers as well! Fingers are crossed this will be more updated more frequently...it is my intention! Blessings to you!

Pictures to highlight the good :)

My friend Jen and I both got engaged this year.

Two sweet ladies threw a bridal shower for us here.
A group of us traveled to the beautiful coast of Lamu for Spring break.


My kids all passed their multiplication facts tests 1-12.

They got an ice cream party to celebrate.

Trials, Tribulations, and Hope

The last few months have been...interesting. One might think that due to my engagement I have been wrapped up in wedding planning and the reason why I have lost all communication or connection back home. Oh how I wish that were the case. Unfortunately, it hasn't been. So much has been going on, I haven't even known how to put it into words. I am finally attempting it and I hope it makes sense.

Life as a missionary is just not what I have expected. I guess I assumed because I was following God's calling, it would be easy or something. I know I've expressed in previous posts things being difficult here, but things only got more difficult after that. My friends and family have asked, what is so difficult? It's so hard to explain. I miss people back home like crazy. I miss luxuries and conveniences (like hot water and electricity ALL the time). I miss working at a school that has good leadership and where I feel like I have a voice that matters. And as grateful as I am to have met my soon to be husband, I haven't felt like I could even enjoy that to the fullest knowing my friends and family back home couldn't celebrate this time with me. Negative, negative, negative, right? Yep, that's what I've been drowning in for the last few months. I've had difficulty wanting to write anything that was going on here because I didn't know what to say without sounding completely hopeless. I wondered where God was and why he brought me here? I broke down several times and voiced I would not be coming back next year...it was just too hard (and I am not typically one to throw in the towel and give up). I didn't care though...take me back home.

In the last week though, some relief has been brought to me, to our school. Prayers are being answered and I can finally say I'm starting to see some purpose in all this difficulty. I am learning how to lean on God more for comfort instead of a nice shopping spree or trip out of town. Don't get me wrong, those weren't bad things, but I was leaning on them way too much. I feel like I've been in detox from all that this year and it's been painful. God is showing me how selfish I've been and am. I feel my covetousness is more evident than ever. However, through all these voices of negativity and feeling of hopelessness, God is also showing me where my hope can only lie. I am not here on my own strength and I can only continue with His strength. I see where God can use difficulty for good and for his glory. I am seeing where being obedient to him is being used to shape me into a better person; hopefully more like him. I never want to stop learning or growing as a person or in my relationship with the Lord. I know he is using all of these hard times to prepare me for what is to come and to use me for his glory. I am almost done with my first year here in Kenya. My small class of third graders is hopefully ready for fourth grade. I have learned to adapt to what it takes to teach here in the land of slow and "hakuna matata" no worries....HA....I mean, am getting better at that. I am just learning; learning to surrender and stop asking why to everything. At the end of all of this, I have hope. I think that's one of the most important things and one of the things I am grateful for in having a relationship with Christ. I have hope, there is purpose in life and all that is happening. As I prepare to celebrate Easter this weekend, I personally am so grateful that it's more to me than eating ham and deviled eggs. I am celebrating the one who suffered for me, a sinner, to become clean, and have the hope of an eternal life that is filled with hope and joy.

I continue to ask for prayers as I walk through this season of my life. Please know that that is one of the biggest things you can do for me as I am over here. I feel it and I know they are being answered. Proof of that, is that I will be coming back next year. I haven't crumbled and I continue to want to do whatever the Lord asks of me.

Oh the Internet in Kenya!!!

I just spent an hour writing updates on what's been going on these last few months and why I've been absent. But as normal, or what has become normal, I lost everything when my computer and internet went bonkers. Please forgive me for the long hiatus from blogging. I will be updating, or trying to, again tomorrow. All I'd like to say for now is I can use as many prayers as possible. I appreciate the love and support. Back soon!

What a whirlwind month...oh, and...I'm Engaged!

Wow, so lot's has happened since my last post. After getting over the wonderful chicken pox, life got increasingly busy; trying to catch up from being gone for a week and a half from school, prepping for Christmas break, etc. As soon as Christmas break hit, my fiance'...hehe...Jonathan and I took a trip with our good friends to Uganda for a week to raft the Nile. Upon return of that trip, got to deal with my first Christmas away from family and friends (not easy). And then finally, got ENGAGED on January 5th (very fun!). Needless to say, blogging has taken a back seat, but I would love to share in a little bit more detail about all of this fun stuff!

Well, I guess the fun really began once Christmas break hit (we get three weeks off here..woohoo!). Jonathan and I headed out on a 14 hour bus ride (no air conditioning) for Uganda to check out somewhere different and to go white water rafting down the Nile. My friend Sarah's parents are doing ministry work there, so we got to stay with her family and parents for the week. It was great getting out of Nairobi for a bit and checking out someplace new. The biggest adventure of our week, besides the bus ride, was getting to white water raft. It is something I wanted to do coming here...little did I know what that entailed. Let's just say, a couple 15 foot water waves makes you see your life flash before your eyes, and I was THRILLED when it was all over. 6 hours down this river and through several rapids filled my adventure quota for a while. I'm glad we did it, but I was happy to come back and have relaxation awaiting us back in Nairobi.

Once back in Nairobi, Jonathan and I got to spend our first Christmas and New Year's together. Even though it was hard to be away from family and friends, it was a sweet and memorable time for us. Five days after the first of the year, Jonathan had something else in mind to cause room for celebration...

On January fifth, and after three months of dating (yes, I know it's quick...but when you know you know right?!), we took a day trip out to Crescent Island. For those of you who have seen the film, Out of Africa, this is where most of the movie was filmed. It's an 'island' where there are animals left from the film still roaming around. You can just walk along with zebra, giraffe, buffalo, sometimes Hippos, and other fun animals. Anyway, I had no idea what was going to happen. All I thought we were doing was walking around in intense heat, no water (we forgot that) looking for these animals to take pictures of. Little did I know Jonathan was looking for a place where giraffe were. We both LOVE giraffe and zebra and he thought it would be special to have them around. We found an old hut with seating and he suggested we sit there and rest from the heat for a while. We looked up from sitting and saw giraffe outside eating in front of us. I guess he said that was his sign that that was the spot to propose. After sitting for a bit in awe of these animals, he got down on one knee and proposed! It was a very African proposal with giraffe and zebra as our witnesses and just perfect! We will be getting married July 10th of this year, will be continuing to teach together at West Nairobi School for the following year, and then seeing where God leads us from there.

Phew! That should cover it for now. Please continue to pray for the ministry happening here and the months ahead!

What a Week!

For starters...how my week began last week...Kenyan 'compliment'--"Miss Stamp, how would you feel if I told you you were gaining weight?"...me, "not good, please do not go on with whatever you are about to say"...worker, "no, I could tell from behind your pants are tighter, do you want to work on it?"...me, 'walking away with tears in my eyes and a stunned look on my face...'...Two days later..."Miss Stamp, you look nice today...what did you do different with your face?"...Same day, was diagnosed with chicken pox. Wow, needless to say, this last week was an extremely humbling week.

To explain the first two comments, apparently, compliments in Kenya are when you are told you are gaining weight, even if you haven't, that's what they like to say to tell you you look well and taken care of. My Americanized self did not see it that way and started off my week shaking up my self-confidence and questioning the fries that have become one of the regular parts of my diet since I moved here. However, I just realized through those comments, Satan knew exactly what to do to kick me down and make me less effective BEFORE I was literally knocked down with the disease that was about to come my way. Let's just say some prayer and needed reassurance of who I am in Christ was focused on for the next couple days as I tried to pick up my pride from the ground where it had been knocked.

To further explain the later part of the week, two of my students came to class with the chicken pox (discovered after the fact), where, because I had dodged it as a child, then took over my body. All that to say, not the best week since I have been here. I am already in the middle of transition here, feeling a bit low, missing family with the holidays just days away, and here I come down with one of the most painful and miserable diseases I have ever had. Why Lord? Well, now that I'm through the worst of it, I know why...to make me slow down!!! I haven't had a day...just one day to myself since I got here four months ago, to slow down and just be. The more rundown I am, the less effective I am to those around me. Now, I can say, I am thankful for the chance to have been at home and have time to bake and relax and do a few things that help rejuvinate me and keep me going.

I have to say, normally, if I were hit with this much discouragement in one week, I would have let it knock me down for quite some time. Satan has always gotten a hold of me easily through depression and self-loathing. Excitingly enough, for myself anyway, is to know that the longer I am here and dependent on Christ for EVERYTHING, the closer I am getting to him and the less of a stronghold Satan is having on me; a lifelong struggle and he is FINALLY losing strength in this battle. God has given me optimism and strength in a time that should be keeping me down.

For those who don't necessarily follow Christ and think they can do life on their own...I am so saddened. I'm not saying I don't try and do it myself either or think I've got a hold on things...but really, letting go and truly trusting God has a better plan for you, is such a blessing. I don't know exactly how to go on without sounding too preachy, but I just wanted to share, that I am a very stubborn and controlling person. But so many things are out of my control here, no matter what I seem to try to do to make it go my way, ABSOLUTELY nothing does...so I've finally, after 4 months thrown my arms in the air. I surrender, I can't do it..and my way stinks anyway. Those reading this who need encouragement; He really IS in control, realize it, believe it, trust in it, and go with it...I promise no matter how hard things get, it really is for a greater purpose.

Wait, the holidays are here?!

First off, apologies for the very long hiatus I have taken from updating this thing. So much has happened since my last post so I am going to try and condense the information as much as possible without leaving anything exciting out!

Since my last post, I had the opportunity to fly down to South Africa for the Rezolution conference 2010 with John Piper as the keynote speaker. A last minute opportunity arose to go, and considering Piper is one of my absolute favorite authors, I could hardly turn down the chance to hear him speak in person. What an awesome time of worship and teaching I got to benefit from. Here in Kenya, the churches and teachings are not quite what I am used to in the states. Sermons are not very deep and I struggle to get filled in that way. This weekend was like a long cool drink of water and I couldn't get enough! Piper spoke on what his biggest statement is in all his books; that God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him! I was reminded that when I am fully joyful in all I do and in my relationship with Him, others see that and it ultimately glorifies Him.

In the midst of living here and struggling with daily cultural issues and longings to be back with family and friends, remembering to be joyful isn't always easy. There are relationships that need constant working on, patience, and grace. My students have so many needs that it is overwhelming at times to think I cannot meet them all. And then, of course, as the holidays approach, realizing truly how far I am from all my loved ones and accepting that for the first time in 28 years, I will not get to enjoy the holiday season with them, is not easy. However, having this reminder to be joyful in all I'm doing is something I needed to hear and to keep hearing. Being joyful and content in Christ and all he has done for me is a daily choice. And it is huge here. There is so much corruption under all the beauty that surrounds me, and yet people here are joyful. What a challenge for me, in the midst of what I find 'hard' and realizing that as long as I am satisfied in Christ, nothing else CAN fail me. If I am not joyful in what I am doing, then how is God being glorified or recognized in it all; and ultimately, what then am I doing here? All that to say, the conference was amazing and I did not take for granted the true blessing that it was.

Moving on, the longer I am at my school and with my class, the more I am getting to know them and their needs. What a precious group of children I have and am so grateful for them. However, as I get to know them more, I am starting to see more of their needs and wow, there are so many. Most of my Kenyan children have divorced parents or are watching their parents split up. My missionary children seem to be struggling with their transitions and acting out in ways unexplained. All that to say, the longer I am here, the more I am seeing my purpose in being here. These kids know Jesus...what they don't know is what unconditional love is and that even though they are left alone most of the time, they have a Heavenly Father who cares deeply for them. Not the easiest concept to get across to eight year olds, but I count it a privilege that I get to try everyday in class to engrain that into their little brains.

Apart from school, I had an opportunity to run in Nairobi's Half Marathon a couple of weeks ago. Wow! What a cool experience. I ran, or should I say, got passed by world class athletes and olympians. These guys were unbelievable and I couldn't believe that for 1,000 shillings (or about 12 dollars) I got to be apart of this event. I am loving getting integrated into life here and making it more of my home each day. The next run will be in Nairobi's game park with all the animals, and I can't wait for that one!

Well, I suppose this is not condensed very much, but like I said, lots has happened and God continues to teach me lessons each day I am here in huge ways. Continued prayers are coveted and I will be posting again soon!